There are different ways to get to know a person, and these range from a simple coincidence to an intentional search, through introductions and meetings set up by third parties.
But nowadays everything is simplified to social networks, not only as a simple hobby but as a means to find a partner. Based on this, a psychologist made a test that ensures that with a deep, intimate and sincere conversation two people can end up falling in love.
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Psychologist Arthur Aron proposes an experiment that consists of 36 questions and topics that must be addressed in order to achieve the desired understanding and lead people to fall in love.
This study became famous when Mandy Len Catron (professor of literature at Columbia University in Vancouver) wrote the article “To fall in love with anyone, do this” in the New York Times, where she says that she put Aron’s study into practice.
“A heterosexual man and a woman enter the lab through separate doors. They sit face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions, then silently look into each other’s eyes for four minutes and the detail becomes more tempting: six months later, two participants got married and invited the entire lab to the ceremony.
– Mandy Len Catron
Mandy Catron tried the experiment on herself and an acquaintance from college. They went to a bar and started asking each of the questions until they ended up staring at each other for four minutes, just as the investigation says.
She says it worked:
“You’re probably wondering if he and I fell in love. Well, it was. Although it’s hard to credit the full study (which could have happened anyway), the study has taken us a step into a relationship that feels deliberate. We spent weeks in the intimate space we created that night, waiting to see what it could become.”
In short, Arthur Aron’s study makes love seem more flexible than what we usually know when falling in love; It is even capable of building trust and intimacy. The feelings that love needs to thrive.
In this video, you can see several strangers applying the 36 questions. The test was carried out inside a room for about an hour, where after asking the questions they were finally asked to stare for a minute and the result is spectacular.
In case you’re interested in taking the test yourself, here’s the 36-question quiz:
1. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you invite to dinner?
2. Would you like to be famous? How?
3. Before you make a phone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
4. For you, what would a perfect day look like?
5. When was the last time you sang alone? And for someone else?
6. If you could live to be 90 and have the body or mind of someone in your 30s for the last 60 years of your life, which of the two options would you choose?
7. Do you have a secret ‘hunch’ about how you’re going to die?
8. Say three things you think you have in common with your interlocutor
9. What aspect of your life are you most grateful for?
10. If you could change anything about how you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes to tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible
12. If you could wake up tomorrow enjoying a new skill or quality, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you ask?
14. Is there anything you’ve wanted to do for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment you have achieved in your life?
16. What do you value most in a friend?
17. What is your most precious memory?
18. What is your most painful memory?
19. If you knew that in a year you were going to die suddenly, would you change anything in the way you lived? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. How important is love and affection in your life?
22. Alternately share five characteristics that you consider positive about your partner
23. Is your family close and loving? Do you think your childhood was happier than everyone else’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Say three sentences using the pronoun “we.” For example, “We’re in this room feeling…”
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone to share with…”
27. If you were to become a close friend of your partner, share with him or her something that would be important for him or her to know
28. Tell your partner what you liked most about him or her. Be very honest and say things you wouldn’t say to someone you just met.
29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life with your partner
30. When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone?
31. Tell your partner something you already like about him or her
32. Is there anything that seems too serious to joke about?
33. If you were to die tonight without being able to talk to anyone, what would you regret you didn’t tell someone? Why haven’t you told him until now?
34. Your house burns down with all your possessions inside. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to make one last raid and save a single item. Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, what death would you find most painful? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner to tell you how he or she would have acted to solve it. Also ask them how they think you feel about the problem you’ve discussed.
Let us know what you think!
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